she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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