i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
