Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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