Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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