What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Can I color on your dick again?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
