Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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