Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize