He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
