so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
