I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
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you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
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Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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