You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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