I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize