Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
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she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
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Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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