Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
