Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So squirting runs in the family.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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