the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
