did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Come on in and take your pants off
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