2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
