Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
