this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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