Did you just see the Batmobile???
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he laminated a picture of his dick.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
