God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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