Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I touched a dick in church today
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
