Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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