guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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