i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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