Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
worst night to have a conscience
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
