billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
