I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
