this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
high people should be assigned attendants
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
