Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
