It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
