come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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