When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
