Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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