Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Two words: blizzard sex
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
