Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
vagina is talking i cant
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
