Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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