You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
