btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
