Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just had sex on a roof
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
