Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
