just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
