she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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