this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
