i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
