she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize