I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize