What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
