Kiss
Puke
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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