she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
