Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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