The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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