I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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