i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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