i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
