Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
