I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Randomize