**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
